Jay Palumbo, Member Engagement
Valentine’s Day is upon us! If you’ve been trying to conceive or actively going through fertility treatment, there’s no doubt that the months upon months of contrived and controlled sex would affect your love life. When you first met your significant other, all you needed were two things: passion and privacy. It didn’t matter what day of the month it was, what position your cervix was in and lying down for an hour afterwards was by choice and not required. Although it may be easier said than done, it’s important to put fertility aside if only for one night and have some fun again. Here are some suggestions that might help!
TTC Free Night
No talking about sperm counts, ovulation prediction kits or anything perfunctory related to conceiving. It may also help to write down other topics you like to discuss that are in no way related to your uterus. It can be a hobby, a recent book you’ve read or a recent accomplishment at work. You are more than your reproductive organs so feel free to talk about the thousands of other topics that matter to you!
Netflix and Chill
If there’s any form of entertainment that helps get you in the mood, whether it be a romantic comedy, a romance novel, vampires, car repair (just throwing that out there), then make sure you have it on hand. Get lost in binge watching a show you both enjoy or a movie that transports you to another place and time.
Schedule Your Own “Sex Summit”
Plan a dinner where you sit down and tell each other what you like, don’t like, what you want to do more of and suggest at least one new thing to try. The summit alone can get you back in a fun, sexy mood.
Go Old School
First, borrow your parent’s car. Then, get a six pack, drive to a make out spot, hop in the back seat and get frisky. Who knows? You may get lucky in more ways than one.
Remember the Romance
Light some candles, get the music going, prepare a bubble bath and put on that sexy nightgown. Set the scene and enjoy all of it! How can one resist chocolates, rose petals and silk sheets? You’ve been stressed and serious enough so why not pull out all of the stops.
Book a Hotel Stay
Sometimes, when you’re out of your usual surroundings, you’re less distracted from household chores. No dishes to wash, garbage to take out or bed to make. So why not book a night away and treat yourself to the luxury of being removed from the house.
Forget the Rules
Every TTC couple has read a million anecdotes on what the best way to conceive. Sure enough those anecdotes have made their way into both our brains and bedroom. Let’s all give ourselves permission to just have sex for sanity’s sake! So before you have another “Baby Dance” while suspended from the ceiling in gravity boots listening to Barry Manilow's ‘Mandy’ because your best friend's cousin's hairdresser told you that she got pregnant once doing just that -- remember that sex is supposed to be fun!
The best gift you can give yourselves on Valentine’s Day is a night off from obsessing about conceiving and simply enjoy each other’s company. Whether you have children yet or not, you have each other and that’s something worth celebrating!